hand to the plow

Being 4 days away from leaving the country, the question has been on my mind a lot lately.. how does one prepare -mentally, emotionally, spiritually- to leave behind home, family, and familiarity for half a year? I keep waiting for that moment where I know I'm ready, and it just doesn't seem to be coming. I'm (almost) packed, all the details (like an international debit card) are figured out, all of my support money has been raised (our God is an awesome God). Physically speaking, I'm almost ready. But emotionally and mentally? Not so much.

I'm coming to terms with the idea that I will never be completely ready to leave Chicago. I'll never feel mentally prepared for these 6 months. I don't think I'll ever be emotionally ready to say goodbye to my family. And I'll always think there's a few more ways I need to grow spiritually before I leave. I don't think 'feeling ready' is in God's plan for this trip.

The idea of being apart from my family for so long has been a hard thought. Luke 9:62 has been coming to my mind a lot lately. It says, "Jesus replied, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God." Right now, it is so easy to look back at everyone and everything I am leaving behind. I've done, and probably will do, more looking behind than I'd like to admit. But in the looking back, I know I'll miss what God is doing in front of me in Uganda. And I don't want to miss out on His plans or the building of His kingdom. I'm learning this Jesus-following stuff is hard and it costs, sometimes very dearly, but He is worth it.

I'm also learning that time passes. Just as quickly as my departure date has come, so will my return date be here. And while 6 months is a long time, the reality is that March 6th will come all too quickly, my feet will be in Chicago again, and my time at Ekisa will be over. And I'll struggle again, to not miss what God is doing in front of me here in Chicago because I'm too busy looking back at my journey to Africa.

I'm expecting some homesick days.. actually lots of them :) So maybe -if you're up for it- occasionally send me an email, or leave me a blog comment, or write me a facebook message (or, if you're feeling super snazzy, some letters via snail mail!) to make the distant seem not quite so vast? I don't know exactly what my internet situation will be like in Uganda, but I'll reply as quickly and often as possible.

You'll probably get one more update on here before I leave the States, but after that, I'll be writing you from Uganda!