great is Thy faithfulness

"I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember Your miracles of long ago. I will meditate on all Your works, and consider all Your mighty deeds. Your ways, O God, are holy. What god is so great as our God?"
-Psalm 77:11-13

I am going back to Africa. I am finally typing the sentence my fingers have longed to type since July, the sentence I never thought I'd ever write or speak. But it is official, and it is real: I am going back to Uganda.

It would be impossible to explain the many thoughts and emotions that play through my head and my heart.  I am oh-so excited. I am oh-so scared. I am oh-so ready to pack a bag and board a plane. I am oh-so heartbroken when I think of saying goodbye to Chicago and my beloved family for 8 months. I am completely overwhelmed.

The process of getting to this place of returning to Uganda has not been easy by any means at all. My mind replays the countless nights of crying out to the Lord, "What is Your will?" The rejection, the searching, the surrender. So many thoughts were worked through, so many places applied to, so much surrender had (and still has) to be done. This journey has not been easy, and this journey has only just begun.

Sara and I have been praying about going back to Uganda since August. And oh, to tell you all He has brought us through! It would take many a blogpost. We considered so many options, we applied to so many places, we prayed over so many things. It got to a point where we had to stop. In the midst of trying to get back to Uganda, I had forgotten who was really in control. I had foolishly believed it all depended on me, when really I had no control whatsoever.

I have been reminded of this again and again: I can accomplish nothing. Each moment, each breath, I have to depend on Him. There is no other way. And it seems that, as soon as I lose that mentality and focus, He does something to bring me back to that place of dependency.

Going back to Uganda for 8 months. The commitment I have just made feels dauntingly and scarily and overwhelmingly huge. Honestly, I am freaked out. Leaving behind Chicago, surrendering my family, caring for children with disabilities, living in a completely different culture.. for 8 months. How in the world am I going to do this? And thinking about it now, I have to laugh. Because I have been reminded that I'm not doing any of it, He is.

When I stand in the airport next fall, saying the most heartbreaking goodbye of my life, He will be there. When I worriedly begin to think of home and what may be happening without me, He will be there. When I serve day after day at Ekisa, when I am mentally and physically tired, when I don't know what to do, He will be there. When I learn how to live in Uganda and shop in the market and live in a culture so new to me, He will be there. He will always, always be there.

I look at all that God has brought me through-- just in this process of returning to Uganda, and also within the past year of my life. And I stand amazed. "Look at all He has done!" my soul screams at me, "How can you doubt Him now? How could you forget what He has brought you through, and all He has promised you? How can you worry that He doesn't know best?"

All I have needed His hand has provided. He has worked all things in His perfect timing for His perfect will, always. He has given me, His child, what is best for my life. Great, oh-so great, is His faithfulness. When I look at my past, when I remember and reflect on what He has done, how can I not rest assured that He who has been so faithful before, will be again?

I stand about to embark on this journey, not knowing what may lay ahead. And I hear Him say, "All you have needed, My hands have provided. Child of mine, do not doubt Me now." It is still scary, it is still hard, it is still unknown. But all I have to do is glance behind me, seeing the work of His hand, and this I know: He has taken care of me up to this point, and He's not going to stop now.

no greater joy

"Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will not be exhausted, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." --Luke 12:32-34

Meet Waako Elisa, an orphaned child that lives in Uganda. He was able to receive a shirt and shorts because of your loving kindness and generous hearts.

This little girl's name is Kataike Shabila. And she also was able to have a new skirt and shirt because of your donations.

Her name is Kaanyi Nabutono. And she is another orphaned child living in Uganda who received a shirt and skirt that were in the boxes sent to Africa.

This is Naula Helen, whose father died of AIDS. She was able to receive a shirt and skirt. And yes, for all you VBS goers, that's a High Seas Expedition shirt she's wearing.

This is Kabasa Margaret, and that is her mother in the background there. As the Ugandans say, she looks quite smart (nice) in her new clothes, doesn't she?

This orphaned boy -Ndoboli Jackson- also received a new shirt that was in the boxes. This photo makes all the Fedex telephone conversations above and beyond worth it.

I am more thankful for your donations than I could ever begin to express. And I am humbled by those of you who have asked how you can help. If you would like to get involved, you can donate items to send (skirts and dresses for girls, shirts for both boys and girls, boy's shorts, gently used or new shoes for girls and boys, soccer balls, jumping ropes) or you can donate money for the shipping cost of the boxes (even with the God-given discount I have through my cousin, this can become costly). As God continues to provide, so we will continue to give. Shoot me an email or facebook message for more details.

We are storing treasures in heaven, where thieves do not break in and moths do not destroy. But we are also giving these things hoping that those who receive them will know of His immense love for them. For there is no greater gift and no greater joy than knowing Him.

Thy hand hath provided

"I will sing of the Lord's great love forever; with my mouth I will make Your faithfulness known through all generations." -Psalm 89:1

thank you

You may remember this post I wrote weeks ago. This morning, I logged onto my facebook to find pictures of the items in those boxes being given to children at the schools I volunteered at this summer. This was the first picture I saw. Tears welled in my eyes, and for second, I forgot to breathe.

I see the joy on their faces, the way their eyes are lit up, the smiles so wide, the moment frozen in time with the snap of a picture. I can almost hear their laughter and feel the excitement in the air. Although I ache to have been there in those moments, my heart still could not be happier.

I think of all I have seen the Lord do in getting these boxes to Uganda. He has provided the items to send, the money to pay for the shipping, the incredible discount on the shipping. I worried they would not get to Uganda safely, but He had them in His hands the entire journey. And I know this is one more story He has given me to share and remember, one more testimony I can give to His goodness and faithfulness.

Seeing children with shoes and clothes has made me so, so happy. And it makes me think about a Father, who cares even more about these children than I do. And I now know some of that joy He feels when He gives us -His children- good things.

He delights in being able to provide for His children, I have no doubt of this. And now, I have a little bit deeper of an understanding of that delight. He has, again, drawn me closer to His heart. And I stand thankful and in awe of the One who made all of this possible, wondering why He has blessed me with the opportunity to be apart of this.

Words will never be able to describe many things about these boxes... my gratitude, my joy, my excitement, and the many other emotions running through my heart right now.

Thank you for making this possible:

And for making this possible:

Thank you for giving this darling little girl shoes:

And for putting the smiles on these faces:

Words will never be able to express how thankful I am to all of you who donated money and supplies to send and kept these boxes in your prayers. I know there are very many happy children in Uganda who would say the same thing.