the start of the school year
otherwise titled: why i've become a coffee drinker
School started a week ago- the days a blur of chalk dust and photocopies and disorganization. 4 months ago, I walked into that tiny square of a classroom and hugged their little faces goodbye. And now we are here, a full week into a new school year. The days hold the typical frustrations and joys one might imagine for a classroom of 8 in a country such as Haiti. We chase the dogs from the classroom, sweep out rat poop and dead cockroaches, and hang a blue tarp to block the hot Haitian sun from melting us completely. And all before 9 am. There are some moments where the absurdity of this life really hits me. But it's never long before the beauty of it does too.
(doesn't everybody do this before school?)
Exciting things that have happened, let's see. Well, the kids got their uniforms. Ricardo and Judenal walked home to Bonnie and Ray's place after school one day (still wearing their green shirts and navy blue dress pants) and had all of Limbe asking where they went to school. haha. Poor Jenni who's 4 years old and the the size of a 2-year-old is swimming in her size 8 jumper until a replacement size comes in the mail. Sweet thing. Ray and Mark (to make a long story short: Mark's a guy who came to drill wells for 3 weeks and has instead had to learn hard lessons about patience and grace and God's timing, the poor fella) poured concrete and did other construction-y things my nerdy mind doesn't comprehend. Basically they are one huge step forward to finishing Ray and Bonnie's house down at the orphanage (it's been in process for 9 months now). I skipped church to bake peanut butter chocolate cups and lesson plan. And took a walk up a hill to see a gorgeous view of Limbe I'd never seen before.
Yesterday -one full week into school- left me feeling like a wrung out wash cloth, hung and left to dry. The days are always insane, frustrating, and hysterical all rolled into one mess of beautiful crazy. I guess you just have those days where everything becomes a bit too much, and that would describe my Monday. I introduced the concept of creative writing prompts, which resulted in an hour and a half of confusion and spelling out simple words and explaining why "I like a ball because I love it." is not exactly the result of effort and hard work. I love these kids and I love this life, hear me well. But sitting in a room where half of the kids refused to be a part of class, three whined at every worksheet and one wouldn't even look at me, doubt and defeat swooped in swiftly for the kill. Monday afternoon found me eating nutella (straight from the container, mind you) for lunch, recalling the life I left behind in Chicago, unable to think any thought other than: I gave that up for this? Why?
While there is a fine line between an emotionless "oh suck it up" mentality in which one entirely disregards their feelings, and throwing yourself a full blown pity party, a month in and two dozen meals of rice later, I think my heart needed to grieve that loss a little bit. And wide-eyed late into the night, my sister messaged me. Name 5 happy things from today.
The sound of fresh mangos thumping to the ground. Quiet nights and Thomas Newman instrumentals. Rudlen's smile and Maxson's laugh. Iced coffee. Smiling faces and snazzy new uniforms.
(my class of cheeky monkeys)
Some days you have to dig your fingernails deep, but the beauty is always there.
I've started this project of writing a post-it for each kid after class, with an encouraging note. What started as a way to encourage and acknowledge them and the things they did and accomplished in the day has also become a way for me to keep perspective, practicing the finding of something happy in each day. Because I can teach English and stress over vowel sounds and lesson plan for 10 weeks, and entirely miss the point. In that classroom where kids climb over the walls and the tin roof cooks beneath the sun and it takes 20 tries to get that gosh-darn lock open, little lives are taking shape. Greater lessons than times tables and science chapters are being taught. Diligence, teamwork, self-confidence, perseverance, and respect are being learned right alongside "2x2" and "what foods contain proteins?" It's just so much easier to see it while writing behind a computer screen, rather than living in the moment.
I'm spending the afternoons doing one-on-one work with the kids, keeping a schedule of who gets to read and do flashcards on what day. So far the kids really seem to enjoy it, and it's also helpful for me to know where they're at. And to get some one-on-one time and connect with the little cheeky monkeys. Slowly a schedule is taking shape, it's just taking some time. The kids really have made some incredible progress over the summer, and it will be exciting to watch them continue in that.
I'm finding myself with yet another sleepless night here in Haiti, the rain a steady pour outside and the curtains fluttering, spreading coolness to a usually warm house. Lightning streaks the sky, thunder rumbles low, and the rain comes to wash the day away. The power flickered out long ago, the ticking clock causing my laptop battery to be drained next-to-nothing. Three boys sleep soundly in the other room, the air heavy with their breathing and this God-grace that sustains us one day at a time.
I cleaned out the kitchen upstairs this afternoon, and thought I'd share the photograph of the cuddly little friend I found hiding behind the refrigerator. I'd also like it to be know that upon discovering him, I didn't even scream. Oh the things you'll find when you clean.
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